I have just purchased the newly launched neighbour-trumping version of the 10-bird roast (now surely relegated to being described merely as 'ordinary' ) from Aldi. The imaginatively named 'Mr Creosote Deluxe Roast' is a monster 23-bird culinary delight, starting with a bee hummingbird at its centre followed by 21 further feathered friends and a final encasement of an oven-busting ostrich, all tastefully separated by a substratum of various patés. The average total weight of this substantial trencherman's hors d'oeuvres is around 125kg.
According to the cooking instructions however, I've worked out that I'll have to get it on by Sunday morning, at the latest, to stand any chance of it being ready for Christmas dinner. After all, one really doesn't want it to be cooked only through to the swan layer when one sits down to dine once the Queen has delivered this years Annus Horribilis muse.
I'll also have to remember to refrigerate properly once it's cooked so I can look forward to cassowary soup and budgie curry until about June 2014.
