It’s a Christmas Conundrum

Us men have once again begun our seasonal late night looking through Amazon in a bid to buy something appropriate for the lady in our life.

We know, from our limited observations of said lady throughout the year, that there is a 52% chance she will not object to anything Michael Bublé based. But as the Christmas Doomsday Clock reaches T minus one month, we have already started our panicky surfing of the interweb using search terms such as ‘woman gift’, ‘Keira Knightley motorbike perfume’ and ‘books about relationships’.

Last Year my lovingly wrapped gifts of an electric toaster, matching kettle and oven gloves  were seriously frowned upon. So, in order to delay this years journey towards universal disappointment, I’m playing CD roulette with Michael Bublé and his fellow plastic Sinatras in a bid to remember which one she thinks is ‘brilliant’ because I overheard her on the phone to a

friend the other evening when she said “I do hope he gets me something I like, but that would mean him knowing something about me besides my mobile number and which colour wine I prefer", so the pressure is on.

 It would be great if Amazon were to offer to assess the perfect ‘woman gift’ based on her previous purchases, the items on her wish list and a complex algorithm involving stereotypes and simplify the delivery options into :- 

 1. Whatever, as long as it’s before the 24th 

 2. It's the 24th tomorrow, that'll be a sixty quid surcharge !